Fall Vibes And The Pod Update

James Guttman 0:00

It's the journey made with Pod High Pod I'm Dad. Good day, San Antonio, and all the ships at sea. It is James Gutman welcoming you back to another edition of HiPod I'm Dad. Found everywhere. You found it so you know where it is. Hipodomad.com, the whole shebang. Uh it is the second week of September. It is 2026. Thank you guys so much for checking it out, for following up. Um, yeah, man, this is it's the week where things are starting to feel like fall, right? And I've talked about this before. In August, they start promoting apple spice or pumpkin spice. I'm gonna get letters about that. Pumpkin spice. Uh and we all wonder to ourselves, are they doing this already? It is August. Come on, shop, right? It is too early, and then you blink, and people are wearing pumpkin heads or whatever. So we are so close to just the fall, full fall, like real fall. Like wear a scarf and smoke a pipe and walk amongst the leaves. And we're starting to feel it, right? Like everyone's sick and everyone's working it out, everyone's going back to school. So on Monday, one of the things I wrote about somewhat revolved around that because both were stories about my kids going to school and about defending my kids. And the idea

My Kids Come First In Practice

James Guttman 1:12

was uh this was called My Kids Come First is a great idea, but Living It is something different. And I'm paraphrasing the title because I don't remember it off the top of my head, but it is there, check it out. Uh, and in both cases, I talk about my kids and I talk about school and how my daughter, who is 18 and is going to college, at first was worried about where she could go to school, didn't want to spend too much money. I said, look, whatever you want to do, wherever you can go, the best place that will um give you the best education that you want, we will make it work. And keep in mind, I am not a billionaire. Um, not, I mean, barely, uh, not at all. So this is not the kind of thing where I'm just like, money is not an object. Money is definitely an object, but when it comes to something like this, it's kind of not, you know, like and this is something I've said since she was little. And I just prioritize it differently. I'm not saying you need to do it or you don't do it. Some people prioritize different things, but to me, getting her an education was always such a big deal for me. I uh I wanted her to have all the opportunities that I didn't have. So when I told her that, I didn't even think twice about it. And that was kind of the point of the blog on Monday was that we talk a lot about like, I'll do anything for my kids. And yeah, and most of us really would. But I think the question is, and this is something that I know, and I have to make a make a little um add-on here for you guys to know. A lot of times, sometimes I write these blogs and I address these topics either under the idea that they're unique. It's a unique way of me like seeing my son and interacting with him. My son is nonverbal, he has autism, so the communication skills that we share, um, or I'll write something that gives advice of like how I handle something, read this, what do you think? That kind of a thing. This is one of the blogs that I wrote, knowing that most people reading it were going to be on the same page with me. And I'm gonna tell you why. This blog was about not thinking twice about what you have to do for your children, how it's automatic almost. Like when it came to her saying that about college, I didn't even think about it. I'm just like, you're gonna go anywhere you want. And in my brain, I'm like, I said that, right? Before it even was thought about. And the same thing with Lucas. I told the story about Lucas and uh defending him and things like that. So when I wrote this, I knew that most people were gonna get it. And I'm gonna tell you why that is.

Why Good Parents Seek Help

James Guttman 3:31

Since the beginning of writing this blog, I always try when I can, it's gotten harder as time has gone on, to respond to every single message I get from everybody. To an extent, if you're like a jerk, you'll you might even get a response as a jerk, like, sorry, you're a jerk. But I do try to write back to everybody when I can. And especially early on, I would get messages from parents or in some cases grandparents or family friends and things like that struggling with a child who's going through an autism diagnosis. And one of the most common things I would hear, um, like for example, from a grandparent, is you know, I just don't know if I'm going to be able to be the best I can be for this child, or if I'm going to be able to build a relationship with this child, or understand this child, or if they'll love me, and all these things. And I said the same thing then that I say now. I said, your child is lucky to have you. Right? And look, I come from the world of pro wrestling. I wrote about pro wrestling for 15 years. I know smoke and mirrors, I know a work. I think I've told you guys about that before, which is not a scam, but kind of like a schmooze, you know, like, hey, like you're great. Look at you. Oh my God. No, that's that's phony. But when I tell people your child is lucky to have you, without even fully knowing them, it is a hundred percent factual. And here is why bad parents and bad grandparents and bad family friends are not online searching for blogs about how to connect to a child who is nonverbal or has autism, right? The mere fact that you guys are reading material related to parenting in a positive way tells me that your kid is lucky to have you because so many kids' parents are like, you know, you're not out in Rio for the weekends, you're not shooting smack in the alley, you're online looking up a blog about, you know, taking my son to the movies. And and I know right then and there, I'm like, that this audience, and I've known that from the beginning, and this is like for all you guys, give yourselves a round of applause. We'll all just sing together. But like, I am so happy with the people who check out this blog and the people I interact with. Um, because I feel like we're all here for the same positive reason. The only times, and it's funny enough, the only times I'll get like a negative comment is it'll be like some random either a troll on like a social media or something gets posted to uh a different platform when I had the thing on the Huffington Post or on the Mighty, and you know, different things I've written for Autos Autism Speaks, I'll get messages from people sometimes that don't really get it. And I'm like, oh, that's their audience. My audience, our audience, the highblogomdad.com uh universe galaxy, whatever we call ourselves, is unbelievable. And it is people who put their kids first. And I told a story um on Monday that had stuck with me, and I was um surprised. I guess you could not surprise. I don't know how to even put it.

The Bus Moment That Tested Me

James Guttman 6:35

So here's the thing we never know how we're gonna respond to a situation until we're tested in that situation, right? So so often I would think to myself, what would I do if someone crossed my kid? Right? I knew I would react. You're gonna react somehow. But like, am I gonna start beating people with a bat? Am I gonna go nuts? Am I gonna end up in jail? Um, the answer to that is I still don't know, right? I think it comes down to the um, it comes down to the degree of which my son is being either disrespected or being, you know, um handled. Um, if somebody was violent with my kid, I'm gonna be violent with someone. I know that right in my head. But would I overreact in a smaller situation? And I told a story about when he was on the bus one time and there was a substitute matron on the bus. The matron is the aide on the bus. Um, and Lucas has these transitional issues where he leans back and he sometimes doesn't want to go somewhere. If he's in school and it's a recess and like, come on in, he'll lay down. He's like a little jerk like that. Uh, doesn't do it as often. Well, maybe he's done it with me. And he'll look at you like, what are you gonna do? And the kid's like two bills, dude. So, like, I'm like, Lucas. And I have ways of doing it. I try to coax him up. I've always tried not to just make it some rough house, grab him and pull him because I knew at a certain point he's gonna be a man. He's got Fred Flintstone's double, he's a man right now. Um, so I do have one trick up my sleeve. If I can't coax him up and rub his back, where I do this underhook behind his arms and I stand him up. And to this day, I don't know if that is just a way of like maneuvering him that he can't defend against, or if I've been doing it for so long that he just knows when I do the underhook on his arms and shoulders, like, oh, I should just get up. So it usually works. But on the bus, it doesn't. And the reason why it doesn't work on the bus is because he's laying down on the soft seat and his legs are sticking out, and I'm on the other side. It's like it's impossible to kind of do that. So I go on the bus, and my giant boy is just like a manatee, like just laying there, just like absorbing the air around him, staring at you, daring you, touch me, bro, touch me. And I'm like, Lucas, come on, da-da-da. And I'm trying to talk him into it. And he sits up a little bit and then he leans back again. I'm like, oh my God. So I grab his arm, right? His left arm with my hands, and I'm not squeezing it too hard, but I'm grabbing it, you know, in a firm way to show him, no, no, no, no, we're not laying down, come on up. And as I grab his left arm, this matron, who is I don't know this person, I just met them 10 seconds earlier, grasps his other arm in a way that appeared firm, like me, and automatic without even thinking. I took my free hand and I grabbed the matron's arm and I squeezed it. And when he looked at me, I just shook my head no, all in almost like one motion. No time to think, no time to whatever, and I got Lucas off the bus. He eventually came. And in that moment, I was like, oh, all right, good. This is how I would handle it. I wouldn't overreact, I wouldn't underreact. I know exactly how to do it, but this is what I'm talking about when it comes to defending our kids.

Protecting A Child Who Cannot Speak

James Guttman 9:44

Without a second thought, all the mama bears and the daddy bears, and I don't know, the bear an alien. We may go like, oh, we're all bears. Whatever we are, our kiddos and defending them, and it's important. And I think it's an instinct that some people have and some people don't, right? But I think most people do have it. Most people know when they have a child or when they're entrusted to care for a child, that child is and should be above everything. And my kids, honestly, are above everything. And I'm not saying this for applause. I'm not saying this because it's unique or different. I think most people have the exact same outlook. Everything I do is for my kids, right? Like uh I work the jobs I work for my kids. I make the money I make for my kids. I live where I live for my kids, right? I don't, I don't go partying daily because I have kids. I don't all these things that have kept me grounded, have kept me uh responsible. I mean, I'd like to think maybe at this point, if I didn't have kids, I would still do it, but I don't know, maybe not. A lot of my inspiration is my children. I always joke that if I didn't have kids, I'd probably be like a drifter, you know, running around playing the you know guitar for locals. And um, but I'm not. So I'm a dad. And it's my life. And I'm so grateful for them, and I'm grateful for what they've given me. And I think I think all too often we feel the need to remind people of how we defend our kids. I see these memes online all the time. Like, if you ever mess with my kids, I'll kill you. It's like, okay, cool. But I think a lot of us know, especially when we have kids ourselves, that we don't need to tell people that because we feel it and we experience it. Um when it comes to Lucasman, it's on a different level. Like, my daughter is my world. My daughter is my first baby. I love her, she's my emergency contact. But um, she can defend herself, you know. I mean, don't get me wrong, I we had an issue one time. I always remember this. It was the craziest face she made at me. She had an issue with some boy. I don't even know what it wasn't some major thing, but I was like, You're talking. She's like, Yeah, I know he's a jerk. I'm like, yeah? She's like, Yeah, he's a jerk. I'm like, I'm like, Do you want me to do me to punch him? She was like, and her face, she looked at me and she's like, no? And I'm like, all right, I'm just put it out there if you want. It's just like it's an automatic, again, an automatic thing because I'll always defend Olivia. But dude, Lucas genuinely needs me. And I wrote a blog about that a few weeks ago, too. Like, he needs me. Um, Lucas is Lucas is the most vulnerable person I've ever met in my life. Lucas is um pure innocence in this world. Lucas doesn't uh hit anybody to be violent or in an offensive way. He doesn't even know how to do it. He doesn't get it. I talked about how, you know, Olivia would say to him, Lucas, and she would run around the den for him to chase her. And she's been doing this since he was like three years old. And um she goes, Lucas, and she'll run. And she still does it now. Oh, Lucas, get her, get her, get her. And he runs, but he's kind of like confused. And then when he gets to her, I'm like, get her, get her. And when he gets to her, he literally puts his head on her shoulder. And every time he does, we're like, Oh my god, this kid, it's so adorable. And a soul like that, a person like that. Um for me, anybody who would be anything less than kind and loving to my son is a terrible person and deserves whatever comes next. In many ways, it's a lot like how I see the world, right? So I always tell people I'm I'm pleasant, I'm aggressively pleasant. You know, like I I go out of my way, I say, you know, thank you and please to baristas and waitresses and waiters, and I always try to be polite and helpful. I give money to like homeless people, and I'm, you know, all these things that in my head I know like these are the right things to do. I'm gonna do them. And one of the reasons why I do that is because I know if you cause an issue with me, if you're you know, confront me or if you're being rude to me, I know I didn't do it. Because I'm polite to everybody, especially strangers. Lucas is the ultimate example of that. Lucas does nothing purposely to anyone. So if anyone has a problem with him, well then we have a problem too.

When Strangers Offer Unexpected Support

James Guttman 14:18

Um and that was something I was worried about, man, when he was a baby, and when he was first coming out with being nonverbal and being on the spectrum, I I've talked to this before. I thought I was gonna have to fight everybody. I'm like, people are gonna say stuff, they're gonna stare at him. And honestly, it has not happened. There has never really been an issue where I've had to like attack somebody or like threaten somebody or stare them down, um, outside of when he was like really little, like and I was still paranoid, maybe staring people down at a restaurant. But I don't know. I credit autism awareness for allowing people to know that people like my son exist, but I also I don't know. I I think I think people see they see that he is who he is, they see that when I'm with him, I'm caring for him. I'm not letting him run around and like bump into people. We're overly sensitive to others, so that others are overly caring to us. And it's been amazing. Like I've never had, I've never had a negative comment from anyone. I've never had anybody walk up to me and say something negative. I've had people come up to me and say positive things. One of my favorite blogs that I ever wrote was called A Stranger Tapped Me on the Shoulder While My Son Was Melting Down. And I was at the pool, and Lucas was having a fit. He didn't want to get out of the pool, and we had to get him out of the pool because I had to pick his sister up from the school buses years ago. And he's freaking out, and I'm trying to wrestle him out. I finally got him out of the pool, and I'm sitting there and I'm ready to like just like lose it. I'm like, this has been terrible. And as I'm doing that, this older man came over and tapped me on the shoulder, and I'm like, I'm gonna have to fight an old man right now at the pool. I don't want to fight an old man at the pool. And I was like, Yeah, you know, like ready. And he said, and I always remember this, and I've said this before. He says, Um, hi, I just I just wanted to let you know that you're a wonderful father. And in that moment, I'm like, oh my god. It was I don't know, it was just

Choosing Calm And Rejecting Drama

James Guttman 16:16

a beautiful thing. And I think maybe that's an important fact too that I want to put out there, just to maybe close this out, because on Monday's blog, it comes off very much like um, like I have to defend my kid. I'm in this world and everyone's against him, but I got news for you. It's not that's really not the point. I think the point might be if you don't look for drama, you don't find it as much. If you don't look for aggression, you don't find it as much. And I think people see us, they sense our mood, they sense kind of the you know, my demeanor is very calm. Like Lucas loves calm. Lucas can sense calm. If you're cool with Lucas and you're calm with Lucas, Lucas is cool and calm with you. Um and people see that, and we we present ourselves that way. So, so yeah, mama bears, daddy bears, all the bears in the world, you guys get it. I get it. We're in the same boat, we'll do anything for our kids. We live that life. Um, and that's that's why I do this, that's why I write this, and that's why we do these podcasts. And I appreciate the audience, and I appreciate every single one of you out there, um, and your willingness to to want to learn more about like how do other people do this, right? I don't think we're, you know, this pinnacle of parenting, that I have all this great advice by telling you my stories, and my stories are positive. So even if you don't follow advice from it, even if it doesn't pertain to you, just reading the stories in general, it makes me happy to know that there are people out there reading positive stories about children with severe autism and parenting in general. Um, I don't know, just lets me know that I guess we're all kind of doing the same good journey together. And thank you. And that does it for me. Do

Follow Along And Weekly Schedule

James Guttman 17:55

me a favor, if you want to do more of this journey following that we're all talking about, go and follow me everywhere. Hi James Gutman, H-I-James Gutman. That's on Instagram, TikTok, I think threads. Uh, I'm on Facebook. Hi James Gutman is there, but it's a different page. But you can find Hiblogom Dad is on Facebook, all that stuff. Tons of great content, tons of great things. Follow, like, subscribe, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Hiblog om dad every Monday, high pot on dad every Friday. And that does it for me. Until next week, guys, it's a James Gutman saying, be well. Hi Pod. I'm dad.