James Guttman: 0:00

I want apple juice. Lucas wants apple juice. I know I heard him say that. Can I have apple juice? Yeah, you can have apple juice. Can I have soda? Yes, you can have soda. Can I press that button? No, you can't press that button. Why? Because that's going to play the theme song. I'm not ready to start the pot.

James Guttman: 0:30

Hi Pod, I am Dad. He's not just Hi Dad, he's my dad, james Guttman. Folks, it's James Guttman, it's Hi Pod, I'm Dad. Welcome back to another edition of the podcast. It is mid-August, it's 2025. It is the 15th.

James Guttman: 0:49

Thank you guys so much for finding me anywhere, whether you found me on a streaming service Spotify, iheartradio, something like that Maybe you're watching me right now on YouTube at HiBlogOmDad. We have our official channel. All these podcasts go up there HiPodO, I'm Dad every single Friday Like subscribe bell. You know you name it, just do it. Thank you so much for taking the time. I appreciate it. I got to be honest with you, man. I'm going to tell you guys a little inside baseball on this. So the openings to these podcasts, sometimes, especially since doing the video, get me a little bit. I'll tell you why.

James Guttman: 1:21

I started doing audio updates, as I called them, long before podcasts, it was before iTunes and all this stuff. Back in 2003 was my first one, but 2004 was kind of when I started doing them regularly. I would do something called audio updates that's what we called them, and I didn't know how to start them. So it was for the pro wrestling site. I'd been doing them for years and I would begin them off by saying what's up guys, james Gutman, here on Club WWI or whatever the site was that I was doing my podcast for, and that just became what I did. That was my intro, that was my opening, because anybody who does these things can tell you it is difficult sometimes figuring out how to start these things out. So that was my thing what's up guys? All the time.

James Guttman: 2:04

My daughter made fun of me about it, olivia, when she was little. I remember one time she was in the living room and she's like what's up guys? It's JG Insanity. How are you? This is my guest, poopy. I swear to God, this is almost word for word of what she said. She's like Poopy, welcome to the show. And I'm like what are Liv? But it stuck in my head, man, the fact that I did that, because I never realized I did it until she said it.

James Guttman: 2:32

So I didn't do podcasts for a while when the wrestling site closed down and I began the blog and it was about two years after the blog had started before I started doing these and I needed an intro and I was doing kind of the same thing again what's up guys, james Gutman. But then I started going around online listening to podcasts, watching video clips, and do you know who else says what's up guys, in the very beginning of their podcasts? Freaking, everybody, everybody does it. And I was like, oh, I guess I can't do that anymore. It just sounded like everybody else so I didn't want to do it. So if you guys go back about a year or two into this podcast, you can actually hear me experimenting with different intros and I tried all different things of how to do it. Eventually I settled on what I do now Folks, james Gutman, hi, pat, I'm dad. It's easy, it's simple. It greets everybody all together, gender, neutral, says my name, all that stuff. Fantastic, fantastic and I loved it.

James Guttman: 3:26

And then I had to film the book announcement when the book came out the first day. And you guys might remember, it's on tiktok, it's on youtube. It has a typo on tiktok. I hate it. Um, but it was the intro.

James Guttman: 3:39

It was me, lucas, my daughter was recording the video and she was okay, okay, ready, go. And I went folks, james Gutman. She goes, stop, cut. She stops it. I'm like, what's the matter? She goes, what is that? Folks, folks, what is that, folks? I was like, oh my God. So I was still doing folks, I'm not stopping it. That's how I introduced the show. But every time I do it I hear her voice in my head going folks, folks. So on that note, folks, james Gutman. Thank you so much for joining me.

James Guttman: 4:07

I guess you can call that kind of an inside joke that her and I now have, because I will do that every once in a while. It's her folks and she knows what I'm talking about and it's kind of our laughing little thing. And private jokes are a big deal, man. Private jokes are. It bonds people, it makes you find common ground with people, and especially with your kids and with your family. It's important. It's important to have these types of interactions with each other, and my son, lucas, is nonverbal.

James Guttman: 4:33

He has severe autism and when he was first diagnosed, my biggest concern was that I was never going to have that type of thing with him. Actually, my biggest concern was that I wouldn't communicate with him at all. That was the biggest fear and there are many things about it that worried me. Look, I got the idea that eventually maybe he could use a device or whatever, and I understood that and we used the device and we used gestures and things like that. But a lot of Lucas's communication, amazingly, is kind of intuition and it's that face I've always talked about. It's like having a friend at a business meeting across the room. All the time.

James Guttman: 5:12

I could look at Lucas a certain way and he kind of gets it. If I look at him, I go and he'll understand what I'm saying or kind of make a face at him. He doesn't get every single one right, he doesn't. It's not like I can completely communicate through my eyes with him, but he is perceptive when it comes to how I'm feeling, based on how I look in the moment, which is something that and to this day, I talk to people and they talk about all kids with autism do this, or all people do that, or all kids do this. Everybody doesn't do everything. Okay, there's nothing that's a catch-all for everyone. And I say this because one of the things I was most concerned about when he was diagnosed was that I couldn't read my face. That's something that they tell you from the beginning. They make little flashcards. This person is happy, this person is sad. Now look, is Lucas an expert at it? No, does he always know when I'm happy? Does he always know when I'm sad? No, he doesn't. But he knows more than I thought he would and I'm able to see him from. You know, he's in the kitchen, I look over at him, I go. He knows kind of what I want or he'll get a joke that way and that's why I wrote this week.

James Guttman: 6:16

I wrote about having inside jokes with him and how it's easier than people might think to have inside jokes with my son. One of the first times that happened, I remember I looked up at him. He was standing there. I reached out on the floor to pick something up and as I stood up I kind of locked eyes with him and he looked back at me and I was like and he went and we both broke into hysterics and that's such a major thing, it's such a big deal, because I didn't think he could do it. I didn't think that was going to happen and that became kind of part of our overall way of interacting with each other. We have private jokes and we have things that we do, things that he knows. He's in the other room. I tried to get him to do this podcast with me. I was hoping he'd be like Lucas. I'm assuming I'm going to run into him. Lukey Lucas, come here. Let's see cross fingers. He might not come. He might not come, but I wrote this week about some of the private jokes that I have with Lucas and one of them was one of my favorites when he was little and to this day.

James Guttman: 7:12

You know, we sing all the time. We sing a lot of Raffi and songs he's familiar with, and R Rafi has a song called Rock in my Shoe. Might I recall that Maybe it's called Rock in my Shoe, but I would sing the song to him and this song involves participation. So it's like you know there was something in my shoe so I took it off and I shook it. Well, look it, look it, look it. You know what fell out. And then Rafi goes. You know everybody's supposed to ask I do the entire thing, I do the ad libs, I do the audience call outs. At one point Rafi turns around and goes you don't clap there. And this guy in the audience goes. I laugh.

James Guttman: 7:47

So whenever Lucas is playing it on his iPad, he comes and runs and gets me. He wants me to do it, but he has to have it kind of on his terms. He's not in the mood and I try to rock in my shoe with him. He doesn't want to do it. So we're getting ready for school one morning and I was like I was going out for a walk. I got no further than half a block and he turns around and he's trying to get me to stop and I'm like there's something in my shoe and he turns around and takes his hand and he hits himself in the head and I go oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, stop, stop, stop, stop. I won't sing anymore. I'll never sing again. Stop, stop, stop. Because he was little. And I'm freaking out Like I don't even know. I'm like is this what happens? Is this what happens? You know Lucas is not into self-harm or whatever they call it. He doesn't do a lot of that. But in my head I worry about it because it's something they say with autism. So of course I don try again.

James Guttman: 8:37

Getting ready for the morning I'm like, as I was going out for a walk, I won't do it. I won't do it, stop hitting yourself in the head. So then one morning I was like you know what, forget this. So we're getting ready, getting his shoes on, and I go as I was going out for a walk, and he looks at me, he's getting all ready, and I go, I got no further. And I go, then half a and I hit myself in the head just like that. And I went like that and I fell on the floor and he thought it was the funniest thing he had ever seen. He loved it. He was laughing, I was. I was blown away because I didn't think he would get it. I didn't think he would know what was happening, to the point where he's taking my hand. He's trying to put my hand back on my head. So I would do it again.

James Guttman: 9:16

That was the first kind of inside joke, private joke, that I have with Lucas. Where he gets it, I get it. Somebody else seeing it would be like why did the dad hit himself in the head? He'd say you had to be there. Lucas and I were there. We get it. There have been other times too, man. I mean, that's one shared piece of humor. One of my favorite ones was because he didn't react in a huge way. A lot of Lucas's humor revolves around physical comedy, right. So there's a lot of. You know, if I hit myself in the head, he thinks it's funny, or I tickle him, he thinks it's funny.

James Guttman: 9:46

There was one day he was on his iPad and, as you guys know, he starts and stops his YouTube videos all the time, right, so he was playing it and he was starting it and stopping it over and over again. I think it was Twinkle Twinkle. I'm going to say, for the sake of this podcast, it was Twinkle, twinkle, little Star, and he's starting and stopping and starting and stopping and I was like, no, lucas, this is a good song, stop, no, no, no, we want to hear it. Let's listen to the song. This is an old song. Tried to get him to maybe listen to it a little button. I'm like come on. I'm like twinkle, twinkle, little star, the whole thing. And then finally we get to the end and they're playing the music and I go how, I wonder what you? And just as I did that, he pressed it and he paused and I go how, I wonder what. You and I went and I hung my head defeated. I swear to God this kid. He looks over at me with a side eye, like this, and he goes to this day. It is one of the most unexpected things he ever did. And, um, yeah, man, it's part of the bigger picture.

James Guttman: 10:52

So if you're one of these parents and I say these things for a reason I'd like to tell you guys about Lucas. I'll tell you about the things we do. I'll tell you about how happy we are. He's 14,. We have come up together and we have bonded in ways that I didn't think were going to be possible. We have gotten to know each other in ways that I thought was impossible.

James Guttman: 11:07

For a kid like him, a nonverbal boy with autism, I didn't think it was possible to have jokes and share these things with them, and we've been able to do it. I say these things because I know that that is a fear that parents like me have and we're afraid to verbalize it. I was afraid to verbalize it. If you came to me in the very beginning, when he was little, when he was first diagnosed or first seeing the signs that he might have autism, I didn't talk about this kind of stuff. People would be like oh, he's fine, he's all right, he's not talking yet. No, well, what's he saying is? He's not saying anything. He's not saying anything yet. That's all I would do. But I wouldn't turn to people and be like I'm afraid I'll never be able to communicate. I'm afraid we'll never share humor together. I'm afraid that he'll never get me. I'm afraid that I'm never going to be able to interact with my son. And I've learned that I can and I do, and I'm so happy about this and I'm so proud of it. But I also am so eager to share it with other people who are maybe fearing the same thing, because I know how scared I was then and I know how few times I heard anything other than terrible news.

James Guttman: 12:18

Man, people would come to me, whether it's a professional or a doctor or a teacher, and it was always this it wasn't always worst case scenario, but it was always like the things that were bad were real, they were tangible, he's not going to do this, he's not going to do that. And the things that were good were always kind of like well, maybe. So it was kind of like the good parts were up in the air and the worst parts were reality, and it took a little while of living it, having him in our home, figuring out what autism meant to us, figuring out what autism was, before we realized that a lot of the things that we thought were so bad, that were definitely happening, didn't happen, and a lot of the things that we were told might not happen, that were good, they did happen. And, on top of it too, ben, like, a lot of the things that we thought were going to be bad and did happen ended up not being that bad.

James Guttman: 13:08

My son is 14. He doesn't have a word at all, doesn't say one word. Verbally have a word. He has devices, he has gestures, he has different things he does, but he's nonverbal. He's got a lot of life skills that he doesn't do, things that I would have hoped by 14 he would do by now, things that I know and this is I can't be any more honest with you guys than this Things that I know.

James Guttman: 13:32

If I could go back in time and tell myself back in 2013, 2014,. Hey, lucas isn't going to do this and he isn't going to do this and he isn't going to do this, I would have thought it was the end of the world and the fact that I sit here now, positive, happy, telling you guys that we have a great life together, that speaks volumes, because I'm not coming to you going life is great because my son ended up doing all these great things. No, I'm coming to you and telling you that life is great even though we didn't do these things. Life is great because I love my son and he's here and he's a part of our lives and, yeah, there's been a lot of things that I thought couldn't happen. That did, and I'm proud of that. I'm happy to tell you guys that and, hopefully, if you're listening to this and you're one of those parents in that same position, you're getting it, you're hearing me, you're understanding and maybe you don't have to worry as much as you think you do. You just have to live and where you go, you go and that's it.

James Guttman: 14:30

I talk about all this, guys, on the blog highblogomdadcom Monday, wednesday. I got new blogs. I talked about that this week. I talked about different topics this week Every single Monday and Wednesday. Brand new blogs, podcasts every Friday. And don't forget, right here High World, I'm Dad. It is the book about autism appreciation. It is available in paperback, it's available digital. It's also available as an audio book. So if you like my melodic tones, well then you can hear them right there on the audio book. It's available on Spotify, audible, you name it, it's there. Guys, this has been tremendous. Do me a favor, follow me on social media. Hi, james Gutman, I'm everywhere TikTok, instagram Threads, you name it. Facebook, find me, I'll hang out. That does it for me Until next time, james Gutman saying be well, he never came out. Bye pod, I'm done, I'll see you next time.