Speaker 1: 0:14

Hi Pod, I am Dad. He's not just Hi Dad, he's my dad, james Gutman. Folks, it's James Gutman, it's high pot, I'm dad. Welcome to another edition of the podcast. It is the beginning of august, it is 2025.

Speaker 1: 0:33

I appreciate you finding me. Whether it's on any streaming service, we're there highpotomdadcom, all the archives, audible, spotify, you name it, it's there. Maybe you're watching me right now on youtube hi blog, I'm dad. That's our channel. Find all the stuff there as well. I'm on social media Hi, james Gutman, everywhere TikTok, instagram, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1: 0:52

Okay, out of the way. Thank you guys so much for taking the time to check this out. Every single week I get to do this. I enjoy it. I get a chance to share my thoughts with you guys. I get a chance to share my life and my kids with you and different things I have going on, and this week I kind of deviated from what had become the norm, but for the longest time, it was the way it was.

Speaker 1: 1:18

This blog is built on a story, a story that I plan on telling here at some point on video with this podcast. I've told it at some of the speaking arrangements that I've done. I've done speaking events before I have more scheduled coming up I'm excited about. If you want me to do it, go to HighBlogOnDad. I've got a contact form. I'll come talk to you about anything. I love speaking to groups of people and kind of telling our story. When I say our story, I'm talking about me, I'm talking about Lucas, I'm talking about my daughter, I'm talking about what I went through to get to where I am, and that's what I wrote about on Wednesday. It was a piece that I was proud of and it's something that I've touched upon before, something that it's kind of a really miraculous story when you think about it, because so much of it could have ended me could have ended. You know how I approached life.

Speaker 1: 2:14

When I was 35 years old, I had a quintuple bypass right, people hear that and they go. You must have had a health problem. I never had health problems, never. I wasn't on any medication. I didn't ever have surgery, ever. This was my first surgery. It was a quintuple bypass. I had four hours notice, five hours notice to know that I was going to have the surgery that I was pretty sure I was going to die from. I thought that was the end result. I had never had surgery, the only thing I knew about quintuple bypasses and bypass surgery and heart problems was from Too Close for Comfort. I told this story a million times.

Speaker 1: 2:51

Ted Knight on the episode had a heart attack. He went to the hospital and they essentially did a recap episode. They all told stories about his life and they were crying. And in the end he didn't have a heart attack. He had, in Ted Knight's own words, it's a little gas. And so as a kid I thought to myself oh, heart surgery kills you. But he didn't die on the show, he died later on for real in life, which was weird. But I thought well, you don't die from heart problems as long as you don't really have heart problems. If you have heart surgery, you're dead, but if you're just, if it's a little gas, you'll be okay. Well, I didn't have a little gas, I had major heart problems.

Speaker 1: 3:30

It turns out that I had blocked arteries like crazy. It was genetic. My family history is insanity when it comes to heart surgery. I was told by one family member well, in all family, the heart doesn't get you stomach. Cancer will. And I'm like thank you, merry Christmas. That was a wonderful, a wonderful thing to go about my day with, anyway.

Speaker 1: 3:53

So I had this heart surgery right, and when I came out I asked them, I said what do I do differently? And they all pretty much told me none. I'm like, what do you? They go. Well, you didn't do anything to have this happen, like I wasn't obese, I wasn't, my lifestyle wasn't awful. There were things I could do differently, do better, but by no means quintuple, bypass major blockage across the board that I could have caused on my own. This was not something I did, but I said. I said if I make these changes, will it help they go? Well, of course it'll help I go. Then why wouldn't I make these changes? So I did and I went out.

Speaker 1: 4:31

I stopped eating red meat initially, eventually became also poultry. People get weird about it. I don't really care what you eat. Eat whatever the hell you want. You know literally club a baby seal in front of me and chomp on it. I don't care what you eat. I'm a pescatarian, which sounds very pretentious, pretentious, moi, yeah, I like fish. I've always liked. You know, if I go to a restaurant I would always want to pick shrimp or something like that. So it's cool to have that option. I also eat heart healthy. So I'm not going to go vegan because I'm not going to eat boiled lettuce for the rest of my life. If I could deep fry everything, I just you know whatever, maybe I'll do that, but my pescatarian.

Speaker 1: 5:13

But the big thing that I had to take care of was stress. I was stressed out. I dealt not well with things that frustrated me and things that annoyed me. I would react strongly to a lot. I'd say yell a lot. I would yell in the midst of an argument. I would get worked up and I say them in the past tense because I don't do those things.

Speaker 1: 5:40

Now I realized that when I came home from the hospital I had a situation where I'm like I'm not going to be able to do this. I remember I was getting frustrated about nonsense and if you know anything about especially quintuple bypasses, there's a period after you have it, that kind of messes with your brain. You know Bill Clinton and David Letterman. You hear these stories. I remember reading about it. They both had quintuple bypasses and their response to it was similar to mine. It takes a little while to get yourself going where you're supposed to be going with it.

Speaker 1: 6:10

I came home and I was feeling worked up. I was feeling upset. I had a lot going on too. There are a lot of people that need to be wished into the cornfield, which has become a theme when it needs to be done. And I remember I went into my bedroom, I closed the door, I looked in the mirror and I looked at myself and I said you're going to die, and you're going to die because you can't get your shit together. Okay, and I had it out with myself that day. I kind of had my final go nuts moment, just throwing things and just got it all out. I didn't break anything. I'm not nuts nuts, but definitely just all over the place and that was it. It was gone.

Speaker 1: 6:59

That's not to say that in the 13 years since it happened, I haven't had my moments. I have have. I've had moments here and there, um, but it usually has to do with either you know someone around me or a situation not being handled well by those who are handling it. Things like that, and it's so few and far between. For the most part, I don't I get worked up and I'm even saying this is like kind of, as I'm saying it, I'm like it's been a while. I don't really I don't want to, I don't want to be upset about it. I didn't worry about anything. I spent years worrying about so much stuff. It didn't happen. You know what if this happens? What if that happens? And they didn't happen? And then I almost died of a heart attack that I never saw coming. And I'm like, how stupid is this? How much time have I wasted in my life just being worried about things that I shouldn't have to be worried about? So I told myself I'm not going to do that anymore.

Speaker 1: 7:54

And people benefited from it. I feel like my daughter benefited from it. I benefited from it. My career, things I've done benefited from it. My relationships with coworkers, people that I've worked with through the years like that patience and that kind of ability to be jovial helps. I mean, I tell my daughter that I said you know cause she's off the charts with her grades and stuff. And I say, olivia, you know you could get the best grades in the world. You got every achievement. You could have every accolade. But if people don't like you, if people don't want to work with you, it doesn't mean anything. I said do you think I'm the most qualified for everything I've ever done? I don't think so. I don't know. People know that if they work with me. I'm going to take responsibility if I mess up. I'm going to be nice to work with. So I try to do that.

Speaker 1: 8:42

But out of everybody who's benefited, I would say Lucas, my nonverbal child with autism, who a lot of this blog is about, has benefited from my lease on life, and the reason why is that Lucas is an emotional mirror. I said it in the blog post that I put up there. It was called the Surgery, the Diagnosis and the Life I Never Expected to Live. And Lucas is the type of kid where if you get upset, he's going to get upset. So if I'm mad at Lucas for not putting his shoes on and I yell at Lucas, lucas is going to cry and Lucas is going to yell and the shoes are not going to go on. But if I'm patient and if I'm calm, the shoes might still not go on, but he'll smile, I'll smile and we just go about our day. And you know what? Eventually the shoes always get on right. Whether I put them on, he puts them on, somebody puts them on. So what is the point of? Oh, the shoes aren't on, like why would you? It sounds silly to even do it like that and I watch people, man.

Speaker 1: 9:40

I remember a few years ago I was still married and we were at Disney and this dude we're waiting for a parade. We're literally waiting for a Disney parade and this dude is sitting there yelling at his kids and his family. They're sitting on the side of the road, he's like, and then we go to the hotel you guys want, I remember my wife at the time turns to me. She's like is this guy going to yell at his family for the entire Disney parade? And I looked at him and I was like, yeah, by the grace of God, go. I Like I don't. I don't think that would have been me, but I know it's not me and it's helped me. It's helped me to connect with my son. It's helped me to accept things that need to be accepted. It's helped me get past a lot of issues.

Speaker 1: 10:23

I don't get worried, I don't get stressed out, I don't care Half the time. You know I don't argue with people to change their mind and I don't get worked up on like if you don't agree with my politics, cool, don't. I don't care what you believe, I don't care what you eat, I don't care who you vote for. I don't care about any of that stuff. If I really don't like what you're saying or what you're doing, I'll just go away. I'll unfriend you. I'll block you, I'll move on.

Speaker 1: 10:50

I'll wish you into the cornfield. Sometimes you got to do that. You have to wish people into the cornfield. You have to be okay, too, with once you wish them into the cornfield. You might not know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1: 10:59

There was a Twilight Zone episode. Right. There was this little boy. His name was Anthony. Anthony could simply look at you and wish terrible things on you and wish you into the cornfield, and that's been something I've held onto for years since I saw it, because I think to myself when somebody's not bringing me peace, when something's interfering with my life, you wish it into the cornfield. So you do that Into the cornfield. And people have to go, and you have to be okay with what that means. You have to be okay with the fact that you might be alone, the fact that people might not know your side of the story. I deal with situations all the time where people that I know I don't talk to anymore through my entire life will go back and tell half-truths or whatever, and I'm cool with it, whatever. Anybody who believes that doesn't know me anyway, which means that I don't care, do whatever you want, it's all good to me. So, yeah, people have to go away. Things have to happen Because, at the end of the day, you want to have peace. I know that I need to have peace for my family and for me, for my health and for everything, and I'm so glad that I had the opportunity to do it. And here's the irony of everything right, the whole loop of life.

Speaker 1: 12:09

When I got out of the hospital, I was still writing about pro wrestling and humor and pop culture. We were doing podcasts about the Walking Dead and talking about video games and it was fun. It wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. It wasn't what I expected from my writing. I wanted to do something that I felt would help people. I didn't know what and I focused on my own life.

Speaker 1: 12:32

And I started working with Lucas. I started learning about him. I started entering his world, playing with toys, the way he was playing with them, trying to understand why he was doing the things he did, and in doing so I developed an appreciation for who my son is Nonverbal, severe autism, understanding why. It's kind of beautiful watching the way he interacts with the world. And when I did that, I developed my own approach to autism, this autism appreciation, which then became the thing I could write about, and this thing that, for the last you know at this point, like eight years, I've been writing about and I've been explaining and I've been sharing and I'm feeling proud of what I do. And it all came from these things that, on paper, would have destroyed me at another time in my life Heart surgery, my God can't eat meat. My son is nonverbal. What am I going to do? I don't know.

Speaker 1: 13:27

Wake up tomorrow, go on with your life, be grateful for the people you have, for the people who have been here, for Olivia, for Lucas. I'm glad to be who I am and I'm glad to have the things that I do. I'm just proud, proud of all of it. Yeah, I mean this has really been a lot of self-reflection and a lot of realizing that you know for who I am and for where I've come. It's been a long road, but it's one that every single day, I wake up, happy to wake up. I'm happy to be alive, I'm happy to be here. I'm grateful for the time that I've been given. I've learned to appreciate not only autism and my son, but appreciate other people, appreciate their stories, appreciate what they tell me. I don't have a lot of animosity in my heart, even for people who maybe should I don't. I don't really do that. I move forward. I make sure that life is about doing what I feel strongly about and making the right decisions and the way I raise my kids.

Speaker 1: 14:38

And writing this blog, writing this book, Hi World, I'm Dad and getting to share our story, the way I see the world with you guys. That is, I don't know. That's something that I'm so grateful for, and I thank you guys all the time for this, for giving me the opportunity to do it, for reading what I write and for being there. It just means the world to me. So thank you so much for everything. This has been an incredible journey. I have so much more to tell you, so many more things that I'd love to share, so we got plenty more on the way, but that does it for me.

Speaker 1: 15:08

Guys, do me a favor, follow me on social media. Hi, james Gutman. I'm on TikTok, I'm on Instagram, I'm on Facebook, I'm on. You know, you name it. It's there Blue Sky and Threads and whatever. It's all over the place. Thank you. Follow us on YouTube, like, subscribe. Hit the bell HiBlogOnDad and remember, go to the blog. Hiblogondad based on the blog. The blog is based on my life. The book is based on all of it. Everything is based on something. I appreciate it. That does it for me Until next time, james Guttman saying be well, bye pod, I'm done, we'll be right back.