Speaker 1: 0:14

Hi Pod, I am Dad. He's not just Hi Dad, he's my dad, james Gutman, just hi dad, he's my dad, james gutman. Folks, james gutman, it's high pod. I'm dad. I got lucas here with me. We are recording the podcast. Thank you so much for taking the time to check us out. It is friday. It's going up on friday. You see, it's going up on friday, june the 27th. Uh, I appreciate you guys checking me out whether you found us on highpodimdadcom, whether you found us on Spotify, audible, any of the streaming services. That's where this podcast is. But if you want to see me just now, I'm like look, it's Lucas. So if you're listening to this and you think I'm insane, go to YouTube. Youtube at high blog on dad. That is our channel. I'm still trying to remember it for any stuff guys, all video podcasts, going forward, trying to put these up along with the audio version.

Speaker 1: 1:08

I'm making videos as well. I've been on Facebook, on Instagram at HiJamesGuttman. You could follow me making videos putting things out there, announcing the book, trying to get into the new you know the new world. I guess you could say I've been writing since 2002. I've been doing audio podcasts since 2003. But when it comes to video. I used to be a little apprehensive about it. You know, 2006, I tried making a video for a wrestling thing I was doing. It was difficult, it was difficult but at the end of the day, yeah, it kind of scared me away from doing it again for another 19 years. But here I am, doing video. I put some good videos together. Follow me on social media, hi James Guttman. You can see some of those videos Like subscribe. All that good stuff.

Speaker 1: 1:53

And it couldn't come kind of at a better time, you know, this whole past week, coinciding with the release of the book Hi World, I'm Dad how Fathers Can Journey to autism awareness, acceptance and appreciation, which I'm pretty sure I've been quoting incorrectly that subtitle for a while. But either way, you get the idea autism appreciation, it's the whole idea of the blog, it's the whole idea of the book, it's the whole idea of the podcast, the whole idea of this kid right here. The idea that there are parts of my son's personality that are beautiful because of, and not despite, autism. Luke, are you coming over? Bud? Come here, why not? All right, either way, yeah, man. The idea that my kid is great. I love this kid. Lucas is unique, lucas is special. Lucas is just a wonderful kid and I got to thank all of you for the positive support that we've had.

Speaker 1: 2:38

I've heard from people who have gotten the book already you know, in print, people who have it on their Kindles and, of course, people who have listened to me narrate it over on Spotify and Audible and all the places where you get audio books. It's available everywhere and it means a lot to me because I think the idea here is that I want people to know my son, but I also want to help people who are struggling with a lot of the things that I struggled with. And for those of you who are hearing this podcast maybe one of the first times somebody who has suggested the blog or the book by a family member or somebody, we're trying to give you a hint like hey, you gotta accept your kid. Um, I want you to understand something I often think about. If I was a parent early on in Lucas's um journey who came across a blog like this, what would I have thought? Um, and I would have thought it was nonsense. Yeah, how's that? That's the most honest I can get with you guys.

Speaker 1: 3:31

I understand why for some it seems like a difficult thing to wrap your head around Autism appreciation, especially when you're in that point as a parent, worry that your child might never speak. How can there be a person who has that very thing telling me it's great. He must be, you know, deluding himself. He must be thinking to himself, you know. Oh, how do I make a good thing out of this when in reality I don't have to do that. I just have to live the life that we have. And I know that that's true because as soon as I start explaining it to people, they get it. It doesn't take that long to get it.

Speaker 1: 4:10

Look, do I want my son to speak, absolutely. I want my son to have words. I want my son to speak. I want my son to sing. I want my son to win American Idol. I want my son to be the president of the United States. I want him to grow wings and fly. I want anything that Lucas can have to get ahead in life. I want him to have it. Totally get it. Same thing with my daughter. I want my daughter to wings, fly, all that stuff. I want everybody to have that, both my kids.

Speaker 1: 4:43

But I have known Lucas now for the entire 14 years. He's been alive. I met him right away. He came right out and was like hey, how are you? And this is who he is. I've watched him grow up and be the person he is. I've seen him go through kindergarten, first grade, second grade, third grade, all these grades, without saying anything, no words. I've learned to understand him based on intuition, based on gestures, based on his device, based on pecs where he points the pictures, based on just you know, a fist, bump or a face. I know him, it's my guy.

Speaker 1: 5:22

So to turn around and be like you, oh uh, I wish. I wish he didn't have autism, would be to wish I had a different kid, because to suddenly take that part of his personality away, to suddenly if he woke up tomorrow, like hey, when's breakfast? I'd be like who are you? That's not my guy now. If he suddenly started learning, like if he woke up tomorrow and all of a sudden he said a word and then there was another word and we worked with him, we went through it. That's a different story altogether.

Speaker 1: 5:49

But just the idea that I'm unhappy With Lucas is silly. We love Lucas. My daughter loves Lucas. He's. If you know him, you can't not love him. He's loving and he's sweet and he'll come over when you're having a bad day and just give you a kiss. I've had that, I've had him. He does this thing puts his hand under my chin, he goes, he lifts me up and he looks at me. He'll smile. I could squeeze him, I. I could squeeze him, I could hug him. He's just the nicest, just the nicest guy like you'll ever meet, just loving and kind and he's not rude and he's not selfish and he's not any of those things. And it's funny because people will hear that and they'll be like well, you know, kids with autism, sometimes they want something, just take it and that's look.

Speaker 1: 6:34

Lucas went through that phase too with food, where he would just take the food he wanted. But a lot of the times, especially with my son, look, everything I talk about is, when it comes to Lucas, right. So I'm going to tell you about my son. I don't know how your kid is. This is my kid.

Speaker 1: 6:46

Lucas never took anything from anybody just to be mean. He never took it to make them upset and he never took something from somebody else. Honestly, I don't think out of selfishness. I think Lucas, especially when he was younger, was concerned that he wasn't going to get the food he wanted. He didn't have a means to ask for it. He sees it, he takes it. He didn't understand that that food was for somebody else and it's not for him. All those things had to be taught slowly, which is a part of who he is. But he doesn't have it in him to be selfish. He doesn't have it in him to be mean. Lucas isn't a mean boy, mean girl, whatever phrase you want to use for it. He's none of those things.

Speaker 1: 7:28

Lucas is just happy in his life and he's not happy all the time. That's another thing too. It's another misconception. Oh, he's happy all the time. He's happy most of the time. I'll give him that man, that kid is, he's good and he's happy because we kind of we make sure he's happy. We make sure he has the things he wants. Lucas doesn't ask for much. Lucas asked for like four things, you know, like three different foods in his ipad. That's all he really needs, maybe the swimming pool once in a while, um, so we make sure he's happy and he's happy a lot.

Speaker 1: 7:56

But Lucas feels his emotions. When Lucas is sad, lucas is sad. It's crazy. There'll be times where, like we're getting ready to go out, I go put your shoes on. We're going to go out and he sits down and put his shoes on and he'll either not put them on or, like you know, just kind of ignore it and go on his iPad and I'll turn on and go, hey, put your shoes on right now. And, depending on how he's feeling in the moment, he might burst into tears and it's not nonsense tears, it's tears down his face. Now suddenly I'm like, oh my God, I hate shoes, I hate them. I think, really, like you, freak out because nobody feels emotions like Lucas feels.

Speaker 1: 8:31

Lucas is, I don't know, he's unique, he's one of a kind, and I credit autism for a lot of that. And now, if you have a kid who's two, three, four years old, this is probably not going to apply to you yet I'm going to be honest with you. I didn't accept autism yet at two, three and four years old, because you're still at that age where anything can happen. You never know what can happen, right, so you're waiting. He could still wake up any day and just be like hey, good morning dad. And that's who he is now. But that's not now. This is who he is and I have a choice. I had a choice for a while.

Speaker 1: 9:11

I could either spend every day lamenting about who he could be right oh, if only he could do this, if only he could do that or I can just be so happy and so proud of this being my son by my side, and I can get the opportunity which I've done here on the blog and in the book to share them with the world and to point these things out to you. Because what's funny is people know this already Autism appreciation you already know it and I know this because everybody I meet that asks what I do. I tell them about this. I cannot offer a brief introduction. That makes life kind of difficult.

Speaker 1: 9:45

When you meet people, what do you do? And I go through this whole thing and I write about my son, but then I don't want them to think that I'm writing this sad, like, oh, I have a kid with autism block. I don't, it's a positive. And I go through the whole rundown of it. But as soon as I start telling them what autism appreciation is, everybody's got a story, everybody knows somebody. Oh, my neighbor's kid has autism. She's so sweet, you should meet her, she's amazing and everything's positive. It's rare. You don't usually hear somebody go oh, he's got autism. Yeah, my neighbor's kid has autism. I hate him. You don't get that. You get like he's sweet. He's a nice kid. He bought him. You know. I give him cookies like just sweet stories. Um, cause we know it. You know, but I think a lot of it.

Speaker 1: 10:27

Let's have a second. Come on, look at this. Come on, I'll get you in a second buddy, hang out. You want to hang out here? We're on the podcast, but that's the whole idea. Look, lean down.

Speaker 1: 10:39

The whole idea here is that this guy is seriously one of the most loving, caring guys there is. You have to wait, buddy, wait, wait, sit. One of the most caring, lovable people there is patient. Look at that. That's something that a couple years ago we couldn't do. If he came over to me and wanted my attention and I just turned him, I was like sit down, sit down on the floor crying. It takes work, it takes understanding and it takes something that I don't know. It sounds like a like a bit of a brag and maybe it is, and I don't care. He loves me and he trusts me. I mean, he knows that if I tell him give me a second, I'm going to be back in a few minutes and we're going to get him food or whatever it is that he wants. I never leave him hanging and I never abandon his needs and once he knew that it changed our relationship.

Speaker 1: 11:33

But I suffered through a lot of the same things that a lot of parents suffer through. I blame myself, I kick myself, I worry. I didn't know what was coming and I got to tell you good things are coming. You just got to do the work. You got to show your child that you're there for them. You got to make them feel heard and understand and accepted. You don't have to correct how they play with toys. You don't have to hold their hands when they clap. This kid claps constantly, cover his mouth all those things we don't do. I let him be who he is and he knows that I love him and I do. I love both my kids equally. I have a relationship with each one of them unlike anybody else on this planet, and that's another one of the blessings that I got by having a child like Lucas. The relationship I have with him is unlike anybody, anybody in the world. He's different, he's special and there's so many great things about him and I'm lucky to know him.

Speaker 1: 12:28

Come here, buddy, we're going to say goodbye, we're going to end up this podcast, we're going to turn this down. So we are, we are happy, we are content, look and we offer appreciation. Say hi, buddy, you good, but that does it for me I. I am getting pulled away from this podcast, so we are going to close it out while I go, make a quesadilla, quesadilla, make a quesadilla. So that's where we're going to go. Until next time, guys. Thank you so much. Do me a favor. Check out highblogomdadcom. It is Monday, wednesday. Brand new blogs up there. The podcast every single Friday, whether it's anywhere. Highblog'm Dadcom. We're on YouTube. The video is on there. Follow me on social media, hi, james Gutman, and pick up Hi World. I'm Dad. It's the new book Gangbusters Audio Digital. You name it, it's available. And that does it for me. Guys, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for being a part of our journey. Until next time. This is James Gutman saying be well, bye-bye, I'll see you next time.