James Guttman: 0:00

I want apple juice. Lucas wants apple juice. I know I heard him say that. Can I have apple juice? Yeah, you can have apple juice. Can I have soda? Yes, you can have soda. Can I press that button? No, you can't press that button. Why? Because that's going to play the theme song. I'm not ready to start the pot.

James Guttman: 0:30

Hi Pod, I am Dad. He's not just Hi Dad, he's my dad, james Gutman. Folks, it's James Gutman, it's Hi Pod, I'm Dad. Welcome back to another edition of the podcast. It is Friday, it is it's Friday the 13th, it's June 13th, and you know what that means. That means that it is not only Father's Day weekend, but we are less than one week away from the arrival of Hi World, I'm Dad how fathers can journey from autism awareness to acceptance, to appreciation.

James Guttman: 1:04

My new book available everywhere. It. It's gonna be available on amazon and every bookseller. You can get it and be in stores, ask them if you don't see it, if you want to hear the audio version. There's also an audiobook narrated by my melodic tones and, uh, yeah, hopefully you like it. But either way, I narrate the book. I tell you the stories just as I would tell them to anybody who would be stuck in a room with me so you can hear the whole book from beginning to end. I am so excited about this. It's available, by the way, on Spotify and Audible, and wherever you audio your books it's there, so check it out. Pre-save, pre-order, grab it the day it comes out and let me know what you think. I'm most excited to hear from a lot of you guys about what you think about the book and the ideas behind it.

James Guttman: 1:45

Some of the concepts that I introduce Again what I say every single time I write anything about my son and about my life. This is my life. These are my stories. In no way is this a roadmap for what you should be doing or what you need to do or who your kid is. I don't know your kid. My kid is wonderful. I love my kid. I tell you all the great things about my son, but he's my son. So these stories are about us and the things we do, and I know that a lot of these things definitely resonate with different people. There's stories that I'll tell about him that I know somebody else who has a child who's very similar, that might experience the same thing. I get that, and some you don't. Some people don't get it all. They'll come back to me with all these different questions and ideas. I don't know if you hear him in the background, but he's a rip roaring, ready to go.

James Guttman: 2:33

I talk about a lot. I talk about the acceptance of kind of what our life was going to be, which now, at 14, it seems almost silly. Because he's part of our world and we love him. We love having him in our family, we love having him in our life. He's a sweet boy and all the fears that I had about him never came true.

James Guttman: 2:52

But there was a time where I didn't know that was going to happen. There was a time where I had nothing but questions and I got no answers from anybody. They didn't want to tell me anything. I come from the world of wrestling. I thought it was. You know, I come from the world of wrestling. I thought it was a work, a grift, and I thought that they were purposely not telling me for some weird reason. I was very paranoid. In the end they couldn't tell me, because nobody could tell you what your kid will do. It's like asking the pediatrician when your kid is three is he going to play baseball, is he going to be a pitcher or a downfielder why won't you tell me? And the doctor's like? Because he's three schmucko and that's kind of what I had. I worried all the time about what it was going to look like when he got older. And here we are he's 14.

James Guttman: 3:33

And I think the unique situation here is that a lot of the fears that I had when he was a toddler came true, a lot that I thought, if this is going to be my life, it's going to be the worst life ever. They came true and it's not the worst life ever. Man, I'm like George Bailey at the end of the movie. I really lived a wonderful life, it's been amazing.

James Guttman: 3:55

And to have someone like him, I don't know. I don't know if it's like I needed someone like him, because I really it's so helpful to have a person there who truly does not give a and you can insert whatever words you want there, but he doesn't care about problems going on. Lucas doesn't think about, like you know, politics or frustrations or bills or grades. He doesn't care. He just lives his life. When I'm in a mood and I'm focusing on this or dealing with that or all these different problems that we run into, he will come over and just hug me or grab my hand and try to bring me to get him food, like he's very focused on right now, what makes me happy right now, what brings me joy, and I envy that and I watch him and I admire him and I try to be like that.

James Guttman: 4:40

You know, I said and it's funny and this is important to kind of put out there I said in the Instagram story, every day on Instagram and Facebook, on you know, follow me at HiJamesGuttman on both I've been putting my countdown to the book being released and you know, play music in the background, play your song by Ellie Goulding great song and Mike Posner and things like that. But also, you know, I have a quote at the bottom and there was one where I had said it's on the book that Lucas is the realest person I've ever met. And it's 100% true, he's the realest person ever. And I think here's what makes it amazing.

James Guttman: 5:14

People hear that and they know I have two kids, right, I also have a 17-year-old neurotypical daughter. And the question then comes in and I've gotten this before and it's weird because I know when people ask me it's a real thing, but in our house it really kind of isn't that one child gets the focus and the other one doesn't. Make no mistake, my daughter is like a star in this house, like if you were here. I think people would be surprised at how much equality there really is in terms of attention, in terms of being a part of the family. And you hear in the beginning of this podcast and you hear that when we first started things off she was a little kid. She's 17 years old now, so I don't get to write about her as much as I want, but let me tell you this, and here's one of the blessings I think I have having one child who's neurotypical one, who's neurodivergent. You know one child who's neurotypical one, who's neurodivergent or whatever phrase you want to use for it.

James Guttman: 6:07

Lucas is the realest person I know. Lucas is the purest person I know. Lucas is the kindest person I know out of. Anybody Doesn't judge, has no animosity. Lucas will forgive you immediately if you show that you feel bad. It's happened before. You bang into Lucas with your arm. He doesn't hold a grudge, he doesn't stare at you later on. All you have to do is give him a hug. I'm sorry, he's fine. It's amazing.

James Guttman: 6:34

Olivia, my daughter Olivia, is the smartest person I know. I have never known anyone who can absorb facts the way she does and hold on to them in a really amazing way. She studies a lot. She gets amazing grades. I don't even know where it comes from. She has this ambition and this drive. I have an ambition and a drive. I've always wanted to do more and I always think about what the next step is. Even now this book is coming out next week and I'm already like what else are we gonna do? I very, I push, I push, I push. She does it on a level that I'm not. I'm blown away by. It doesn't matter how long it takes or what she has to do. She's ambitious, she's strong, she's funny, she's smart. She's really just a wonderful person and I'm so blessed to have her in my life and I told her that I think I mentioned on the podcast too. I told her one day I said you realize I said everything I write about Lucas and how important he is in my life. Like that's you too.

James Guttman: 7:30

The only reason why you're not in this thing is because you don't want to be in the thing, because you're 17 and I get it, and hopefully I'm going to try to finagle a little bit more appearances by her. But I'm lucky and I'm blessed, and I know this every single day. I've made choices that have brought me to where I am right now and I'm lucky for that. You know, and you can say something like that without it being an insult, like to be divorced and say I've made these choices and I'm happy where I am. That's not an insult to the time of my life when I was married. That's not an insult to the person I was married to. That was just, that was then, and this is now and I'm happy now. So everything that happens is a lesson.

James Guttman: 8:08

Having a child with severe autism was a life lesson that I can handle anything and that all the things that I worry about aren't as bad as I think they're going to be ahead of time, that I worry about aren't as bad as I think they're going to be ahead of time, with my son's autism being the biggest example of it. If I could go back in time when he was three and tell myself an overview you know that specifics of what life is like. Hey, your son doesn't speak, he's 14. You're gonna have to do a lot of things for him. Still, there's worries and concerns. I would have freaked out, man, anybody would. Who wouldn't? Because you don't know what's coming.

James Guttman: 8:45

And that's why a big part of the book and the blog and the podcast and I talk about it all the time is people who are going through the initial stages of figuring out if they have someone in their life who has autism Grandparents and people who are going through the initial stages of figuring out how to interact with somebody who has autism, what they can say, what's offensive, what's not. I get all that I lived that and that's been one of my goals in this writing is to help people through a time that I needed my most help during. There's a story I don't know we may have had it edited a little bit in the book I'm taking you behind the curtain but there's a story I don't know. We may have had it edited a little bit in the book. I'm taking you behind the curtain, but there's a story and the reason why it would be edited is I can't find it, but it was back in like 2011. And I wanted to know about autism. I wanted to know what is it like to have a child who's nonverbal? It was one of the professionals that said the words to me and I went online and online and I had never done this.

James Guttman: 9:37

Keep in mind, I have been writing on the internet since 2002, since a time when people didn't understand what it meant to write on the internet. I did podcasts before they were called podcasts in 2004 and 2005. I once interviewed the wrestler Coco Beware Coco Beware, the bird man, coco Beware who couldn't fathom that we were on the internet. He's like you might be the number one disc jockey on your radio and I'm like this guy doesn't even know where we are Because people didn't get it the internet and writing and things like that. So I've been writing on the internet since 2002. And doing so kind of made it work, you know. So I didn't really do it for fun. I didn't join groups, I didn't talk to people and for the first time, right before well, right around 2011, right from a heart attack, I had gone online to find information about non-verbal autism and I found a blog from a mother whose child was I don't know.

James Guttman: 10:27

The child was non-verbal or was getting a diagnosis of non-verbal. Whatever it was, it was a non-verbal child. And the story and I forgive me if I've told you guys the story already, but it's always been a big thing for me that I finally reached out for some sort of support and guidance online and I felt a kick to my stomach. It was the worst feeling ever and it was a dramatic story about the song Say Something, I'm Giving Up On you, and how she envisions herself in her driveway grabbing her child by the collar and screaming say something, I'm giving up on you, as they're taking him away to be in a home and I was like, oh, this is it, this is the end of my life. It's the worst, worst, worst, worst thing in the world. And I get it, man.

James Guttman: 11:11

I get having those doubts and I've had them and I've written blogs about them, about worrying and being scared. Worrying and being scared, but I always try to find the hope in it. Our life is not hopeless. There's a lot worse things. I mean honestly, man. There's a lot worse things than what I have. I've known people who have lost children. I know people who have children permanently in a coma and throughout my life I've known people who have faced tragedy and loss and grief and pain and heartache, and I don't have any of that. All I have is a kid that doesn't really use his verbal language and every once in a while I got to kind of figure him out and maybe help him brush his teeth here and there.

James Guttman: 11:54

I mean it's easy when you love them. That's the best way I could put it. Autism appreciation is easy when you love them. That's the best way I could put it. Autism appreciation is easy when you love them. Doing things for your child when they need you is easy when you love them. Imagining an imaginary kid and putting yourself in that position is not easy. Somebody sees me with Lucas and they imagine some kid that doesn't exist and them having to take care of him. That sucks. You don't even know that kid. I know this kid, I love this kid. This kid is great. I buy him presents at Christmas and birthdays and he loves me and he lights up when he sees me and that's the whole point of this book, it's the whole point of the blog, that's the whole point of the podcast to tell people about my son.

James Guttman: 12:34

I've been saying to Lucas since he was little the squeakiest wheel gets the most grease and you're the least squeaky wheel I've ever met. Like he doesn't complain. It's easy to just put him in his room, give him an iPad and go about your day, but you don't do it. You don't do it because you love him, you don't do it because he deserves better, and that's the whole point. Also, in being a very unsqueaky wheel, lucas doesn't get a lot of attention. You know, I talked about his sister earlier. His sister is the star of people. She lives in the world where everybody does the things we do, just like I do. I live in the neurotypical world. If I sink a basket, if I, you know, do these things, people applaud and people are proud and they're excited and I'm excited. I made everybody proud of me. I wrote a book. Everyone likes my book. Yay, I wrote a book and it's such a great like and it's such a great like, oh, doing all these things, lucas doesn't care.

James Guttman: 13:19

Lucas doesn't want to do anything to impress anybody else outside of his world and in doing so, it's very easy for people to overlook him, because it's hard to really. What is he doing? What is he into? How do you talk to him? I get all these different questions. And this book.

James Guttman: 13:35

Honestly, man, like I use that song, um, your song by ellie gould. I always loved that song. I loved it when I was younger. It kind of fell out a little bit, but it's the best way to put it. It was originally by Elton John, but it's. You can tell this is his song.

James Guttman: 13:52

This book that I wrote is not only his song, it's my song. It's the most important thing I've ever done in my entire life and when I came out I came out of the hospital in 2012, having had my bypass all I wanted to do was do something that meant something, and that's what this is. Not only do I get to share Lucas with the world and tell everybody about this wonderful person, but I get a chance to shine a light on the positivity behind something that for so long it's debated, for so long has people going out there talking about curing it and avoiding it and fighting it. And I get it. And you have a kid and you don't want your kid to have any sort of ailments. I understand that, and if my son didn't have autism, I would be concerned. I don't want him to have autism, but lots of us, as parents, we have children who are nonverbal and have autism, and it's my privilege, honestly, to be able to write this book and to tell people.

James Guttman: 14:48

If you're one of them, you know by now if you've had it for a while it's not that bad. You love your kid right. Difficult yeah, challenges yeah. Maybe you can't go out as much. Maybe you cost some money. Maybe you worry a little bit more. Sometimes you get a glimpse of people in your life who really can't handle this. That's a little jarring, but overall it's not. My kid's not in the hospital every day. My kid's here with me. I don't have to worry about him. He's not on the street, he's not missing. I'm the luckiest dad in the world. I get to spend as much time as possible with two of the best people I know and this book is about them. And this book is about my son. It's about our family and it's there to help you. It's not. I'm not writing you know fiction and imagined scenarios about me crying to a song. I'm not putting fear in your heart for no reason. I'm not sharing my fears with you and if I do, I try to show you how. It's completely normal, but it's part of the bigger picture.

James Guttman: 15:58

I've never written a blog about the end of the world being because my son had autism. I've written blogs about being frustrated, being worried that he's gonna steal somebody's food off their plate. I've written blogs about being worried he was gonna run into traffic. All those man when he was little he ran all the time. I wrote about the struggles of cutting his hair. I wrote about we've been through so much, I've watched him grow up and I've shared it with you and if you read it then you know it.

James Guttman: 16:26

There's no fiction here. This is our life and it's positive and it's great. And High World I'm Dad is. It's our song, that's our song to you and it's our song for the world. And hopefully you know, we get to make a difference. Lukey, come here he and we get to make a difference. Luki, come here, he and I get to make a difference and do good for people. Come here, hey, come here. I'm on the microphone. Can you come here, lean and say something clap. Okay, we can't play that, I can't play elmo, because they're gonna take us down for copyright. Can you? I'm gonna say something yeah, here you go. I love you. A lot of eye contact, a lot of kisses, but he's here, I promise you he's here and we're hanging out. It's a big week. So thank you guys for all your support. Do me a favor If you get a chance, go to highblogomdadcom. That is where it all started. Highblogomdad that's what I wrote.

James Guttman: 17:16

This week I wrote two blogs, one of them really important, the words my son never said and the piece that followed. And it kind of follows the idea of when he was young and I wasn't ready to tell people he had autism or he was nonverbal. I found myself in uncomfortable situations waiting for him to answer people. They go hi, buddy. And I stare at him Like is he going to talk? Is he going to talk? And the day that I didn't do that anymore, the day talk, and the day that I didn't do that anymore, the day I'm talking about you, but the day that I didn't do that anymore and I got a chance to tell people no, he's not going to say hello back to you, maybe a wave. You know it was freeing, it felt good. It kind of like took a weight off my shoulders. And then the other one was he never says I love you, but I've never been more sure. I've written similar things in the past. But it's also important to know this because really, when he was little and he was getting diagnosed, the last thing I thought was that I'd ever know that he loved me. And now. I know it more than I know it about anybody else. Like Lucas, lucas loves me, and it's not about words and it's not about you know communication. It's about feelings, about actions. It's an amazing situation. So, guys, thank you. This is the last one. This is the last podcast before high world on dad Lucas. It's the last podcast before high world on dad man. So please go out, grab it.

James Guttman: 18:25

Next Friday we'll be back here. We'll talk about it. How about that? We'll talk about the book. We'll talk about some of the things that came out. I want to get some feedback from you guys. Reviews are going to start going up. I'm really excited. I don't know. Let's change the way people think about autism. Let's change the way people think about you know, people like my son and families like mine. Let's change the world, guys. Until next time. This is James Gutman saying be well, bye, pod. I'm dad. Thank you, I'll see you next time.