Speaker 1: 0:00

I want apple juice. Lucas wants apple juice. I know I heard him say that. Can I have apple juice? Yeah, you can have apple juice. Can I have soda? Yes, you can have soda. Can I press that button? No, you can't press that button. Why? Because that's going to play the theme song. I'm not ready to start the pot.

Speaker 1: 0:30

Hi Pod, I am Dad. He's not just Hi Dad, he's my dad. James Gutman, folks, james Gutman Hi Pod, I'm Dad. Welcome back to another edition of the podcast. We are closing in on june 2025 and you guys know what that means. It is almost book month 619 booyaka booyaka.

Speaker 1: 0:54

The release globally of high world, I'm dad. How fathers can journey from autism awareness to acceptance, to appreciation is out everywhere, and I everywhere. We're talking Amazon and every bookseller that sells books. They'll sell it. And then, on top of it, the audiobook which I narrated, which was insane. Sit there and read the book out loud and remember my words, but that's going to be available and you can get that on Amazon, audible and Spotify and all these other things. Again, not going to remember Google Play. It's everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. So thank you so much for checking out the site, thank you for those of you who have gone and pre-ordered the book and who've been just doing so great. I just put a smile on my face constantly. I am so proud and so happy with everything that's happening right now Not even just doing the book, which I've talked about before, is it's a big deal for me.

Speaker 1: 1:47

I've written you know this will be my fourth book two on pro wrestling, one on pregnancy and then one on autism appreciation and this by far is the one I'm the most proud of. It is the one that I have been wanting to do for years. I actually pitched an autism parenting book when I first started the blog back in 2017. It was rejected thankfully, because had it been written then, it would have been a very different book. It would have been completely different. It would have been a reactionary book, and this is something that, honestly, this year, I'm zeroing in on it. My word of the year is reactionary, because I'm starting to realize that my entire life, a lot of the stuff I've done, has been reactionary. Someone does something you do it back. Someone thinks something you do something based on what they might think, and back then I wrote about very similar topics Autism, appreciation and things like that. I didn't call it that back then. But I talked about raising my son. I talked about how we didn't want pity and I was really hung up on pity because people would pity me, people would act like it was the saddest thing in the world that I had this kid that I love.

Speaker 1: 2:51

I always say one of the reasons why I first wrote the blog was that I had a story that I thought was funny about Lucas wanting a bite of my pretzel. I mean telling him no, you don't like this pretzel. And he's like. He kept tapping his chest, like give me your pretzel. So I handed it to him. He licked it and he put it back in my hand and I thought it was funny. It made me feel like a dope and it was just funny. And every time I try to tell that story to someone a really lighthearted story it was always such a sad feeling. He doesn't know what pretzels are and I'm like what are you talking about? He thought he would like it. He didn't like it. I'm like, oh my God, it's a funny story. And then I realized I could write a blog and talk about my son and I don't have to deal with that. I can get to the end of a funny story about Lucas and not have somebody pity me for a story that I find to be cute or dearing or something like that. So I did that. So a lot of my early writing was about pity, don't pity me.

Speaker 1: 3:47

Very first blog was called we're not superheroes, about all these people who you know. It's tough, yeah, is it worry? Is there concern about being a parent in general? Yes, raising a child like mine special needs, severe autism yes, yes, yes, across the board. But like it doesn't take a superhero to love your kid. And this was a thing for years.

Speaker 1: 4:08

Before having Lucas, I used to watch Louis Theroux, documentarian from the United Kingdom. You guys may have seen him, some people saw him, some people haven't but he had done an episode of a show called like Strange Love, I think it was called, and it was supposed to examine people who shared love in ways that were considered unorthodox and they had a mother who had a child who had severe autism and the implication was that it was such a dire thing for this woman to still love her kid, despite how hard it was, and I don't know, man, that's always just been something for me that I had a kid. It was my son. I brought him into this world. Lucas didn't ask to come here. So if he has a struggle, if he has something that he needs help with, I'm going to help him with that.

Speaker 1: 4:51

I don't care what it is. If my daughter suddenly one day needed help, I would help her. If one day I needed help, if I developed dementia, alzheimer's, something like that, I would want people to help me. I wouldn't want them on TV talking about how hard it was to love me. I wouldn't want people questioning how they could love me or how hard life must be for them. I mean, don't get me wrong, you can question it. You can turn around and say, oh, you probably deal with a lot. Yeah, I do, thank you. I appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 5:25

But no way does the work that I do and how tired I am take away from my feelings for my son. And on top of it and this is the beauty of doing this blog and getting a chance to talk to you guys and being on this podcast and just going off of the mouth on and on and on I get to tell you every aspect of it, so like when I talk about how it's my duty and he's my son and I'm going to take care of him. That's great, and it sounds like what I'm saying to you is like, yeah, I do it, but it's my job. What am I going to do? And is there an aspect of that? Yeah, I mean, that's like my daughter. I have the same thing with my neurotypical daughter. There's times I don't want to drive her somewhere, I don't want to make her breakfast when I don't have to get up, and I'm going to get out to make a breakfast. Those are chores and things that we do. That I do because I love her, but that's not the only aspect of my relationship with her and I love Lucas man. Lucas makes me feel more loved than anyone could imagine and I wrote about it this week.

Speaker 1: 6:22

On Wednesday, I wrote a blog called His Feelings Are Loud. His Life Is Honest, his Love Is Clear, and it was completely everything I just said. And I talked about getting my son off the bus for what I call reunion Wednesday, when he comes home from his time over at his mom's house and he comes off the bus and he walks over to me and he wraps his arms around me and he'll give me a hug, especially after a long day. He does it not just on Wednesdays, but you know, after school if he's had a hard day, if it's been long, if he's tired, he just wraps his arms around me and just puts his head on my shoulder and won't let me go. I try to walk, I pat him on the back and it's cute and we'll stand there. And he's done this before. He did it in the entryway of a Cracker Barrel and we walked in. He was fighting to not go into the place. He didn't know what it was. He was tired. We were in the car forever. He and I were together. He's in my hand, holding his hand. I walked in and he stopped right in the entryway and put his arms around me and wouldn't move and just stood there hugging me and I just hugged him back and people walked around us, which is one of my favorite parts.

Speaker 1: 7:20

People talk about all the time. You know, dealing with it. Oh, isn't it hard when you're in public. I find that if you're really dealing with a situation in a parenting way that someone can relate to, they leave you alone. If anything, I get compliments, we get positive things. That was a day that we had gotten the. You know a stranger had paid for the meal at Cracker Barrel, thanks to autism awareness and thanks to just giving off the impression to people of, look, I got this. They leave me alone and it makes my son happy, right? He knows that I have his back. He always knows this. He needs something. He comes to me. If I tell him to wait for food, he knows he's going to get fed.

Speaker 1: 7:59

I noticed something the other day, one of these little quiet moments of understanding where you figure out oh, he understands this. I didn't know he understood that. He came to me for dinner and there used to be a time where I struggled getting him to understand that you cook food, food cooks. So he would want food. I would put the food in the oven and he would freak out because it would take another 20 minutes. Then time went on. I would bring him over by the hand, I would open the oven and let him look at the pizza. He would understand it's cooking, don't worry, it's coming back. We did the whole thing and he started to get it. And then, just last week, he came in for dinner. I go you want to eat. He goes what's up? Oh, you want pizza. And he looks at me and I opened the oven. As soon as I opened the oven, he went downstairs to play and wait, which is like what we do, and it was one of the first times I didn't have to explain it, I didn't have to show him the oven was going. He's like oh, I got him, he's got it.

Speaker 1: 8:56

And that means more to me than I can even express to you guys, because there was a time in his life where I didn't think my son was going to understand anything zero, no things at all. And I was prepared for it and I accepted it, because when he was very little, we didn't think he was going to do anything. He didn't look at us. You walk into the room, he wouldn't look up. It was a very, it was a scary time because I didn't know who he was going to be.

Speaker 1: 9:17

Now, don't get me wrong. Whoever he turned out to be, we were going to love him. All I'm saying was that I was prepared for a child who I was going to have to do every single thing. I breathed for him. I didn't know what I was going to have to do for him, but I was cool with it, whatever it ended up being. So today, when I tell you a story about him understanding that his pizza is cooking or trusting me that I'm going to feed him. It's beyond what I ever dreamed would happen. So, yeah, and maybe there's silver linings. Maybe I feel more positive about things than most people, maybe I'm an optimist. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm here with him.

Speaker 1: 9:58

So for some reason, I was put here in this situation that I don't dread. I don't dread being in this position, and when you talk to people it seems like I don't know such a unique and crazy love that you have to kind of explain to people how you could possibly find the positivity in raising a boy with severe autism. And, trust me, I found it. I appreciate my son and I do a lot for my son and I do it happily and I'm thankful that he's in my life. I wouldn't cure him. I wouldn't change him. I wouldn't do anything different. This is who I was given and I'm happy, so happy Both my kids man, both my kids, and it's every single day and that's part of what the book is.

Speaker 1: 10:40

The book is about understanding that. It's about how I got to that level and stories about this boy that will help you understand why this isn't just me trying to convince you or convince myself. You don't have to believe it. I don't care, believe it Whatever. Me trying to convince you or convince myself, you don't have to believe it, I don't care. Believe it Whatever. This isn't a sales pitch. I'm not like the case for why I love myself. I'm not giving you a case. I'm telling you how I feel. Take it, leave it. You don't even have to read it. You know what you can do. You can listen to it. It's on audiobook June 19th, 619. Ray Mysterio, booyaka Booyaka. It is available worldwide on June 19th. It is on Amazon. It is everywhere else on audio as well.

Speaker 1: 11:18

Go to highblogondadcom Monday, wednesday. I have new blogs there. I've been doing it now forever, ever right, eight years, close to ever, for eight years, since my son was five and my daughter was like my God, seven, eight, eight that's nuts. And now they're you know, everyone's old. So it's crazy. It's like all these years later. So that's on the blog. Hi blog, I'm dadcom. Hi pod, I'm dad. You're listening to this now Everywhere you find it like subscribe, bookmark, tell your friends. I appreciate it. Follow me on social media, hi, james Gutman. H-i James Gutman, and, of course, reserve your copy of High World on Dad on Amazon and everywhere June 19th. Guys, thank you so much for taking the time to listen. I appreciate it. I will be back next week and until then, james Gutman saying be well, bye pod, I'm out.